maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
