so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
