i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
