Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
