she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
