I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
