D3 body, D1 cock
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
