he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize