I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.