I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.