You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I feel like abortions should bother me more
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty