Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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