I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she peed on how many people?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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