went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
