I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
