anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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