is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize