I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
