dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
