I'm lost and stupid without you.
Yo dont text me then not text me
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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