i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
