doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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