There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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