Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
