Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize