Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize