you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
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No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
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He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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