Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
