I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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