I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
