Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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