I'm really into asian looking animals
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize