sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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