So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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