Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
