first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We have started to decorate penises.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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