I'm drive I can fine osifer
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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