Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
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