Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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