Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
