I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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