some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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