Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
