I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
