but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
