youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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