You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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