I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
