Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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