The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
