No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
