im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
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dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
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There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.