What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
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we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
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If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
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Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!