and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left