I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask