I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
