8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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