By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
