brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
its liver damage thursday
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
