Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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