Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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