google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
