all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
