Fine. I'll sleep in my office
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
