I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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