RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
