Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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