There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
