Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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