By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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